bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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