Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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