i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
