Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
