do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize