Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
