$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
