Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
