Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
