is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
