She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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