i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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