You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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