It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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