I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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