I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
