I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
