Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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