Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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