Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
