so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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