Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
