you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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