I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
