You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
