This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
