I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
