Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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