I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
