I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You did what with his pubic hair?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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