Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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