You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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