yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize