yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
