now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
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