is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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