what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
