You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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