Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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