is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize