Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
