When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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