Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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