Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am available for nakedness
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
