I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
