Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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