I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
