in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
