we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize