Don't you send me to vm
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
