FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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