my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
