so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
