never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
