I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
