Whod you bang
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
