WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
