operation harelip BJ is a go
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize