Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
