Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
