ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
