i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
