12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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