oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
