reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
