Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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