Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
