I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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