Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
