Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
