Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
