You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
